Sunday, September 29, 2013

I've Been Saying Thank You A Lot Lately.

Sitting around at 3 am I usually find myself deep in thought. Hunched over my desk, fingers blackened, clothes damned and smudged, drawing some nonsense that I will never finish. Yet, today is different. Today I am writing this not because I'm going through some emotional roller coaster that cannot be explained, but because I have to say thank you. As I notice I have been doing a lot lately.
I thought about making a video and I might still do that. However, I am terrible at conveying emotional human actions such as uncontrollable happiness. It often results in circle-ly nonsense talk and unexplainable hand motions. Examples are, but not limited to, the use of unreal words (such as circle-ly), blabber about time and space and how awesome I would be at being an astronaut, throwing middle fingers and f-bombs for no reason, touching of my hair far more than any human should, and so on.
Anyways, I fear I am getting off track. Tonight I hit 50 subscribers. To me this is a lot. I don't have 50 of many things. I rarely have 50 dollars in my bank account most days (I'm totally kidding mom... I'm fine.).
This is not all that happened tonight. No. While 50 subscribers is enough for me to freak a bit, it is not enough to keep me up all night. I was fortunate enough to be given partnership with Bent Pixels.
For those who don't know, gaining partnership helps a YouTuber make money off of videos they do not necessarily have ownership to. (aka: my gaming videos)
It has not been a long journey and while I may not feel fully entitled to be given a partnership I'm not going to deny one. I'm not that fucking crazy.
So what does this mean for you? Well, I guess not much. But for me it could mean everything. For me this is a wonderful, magical, beautiful thing.
*Inserting mushy girly feelings here* *Feel free to skip*
I don't think I'm entertaining. I don't think I'm funny. I don't think I'm anything great actually. I'm a human. And humans kinda suck. But you all make me feel differently. Your comments, likes, and most of all friendship is what gets me through these days lately. Your support is what keeps me uploading. Frankly, it's a lot of fucking work to do this everyday. Editing takes a long time. Uploading takes a long time. I spend most of my days working. Not only on videos. I hold a busy life. I don't have much free time. My time is not my own. I spend every minute of my days doing something to help myself progress. To be better. To level up if you will. It's lonely and tiresome.
However, this is irrelevant because you are all such wonderful people. Every comment and every message brightens my day. I feel unworthy. I try to talk to you all as much as time allows me and I hope that it makes up for the time you spend watching my videos and commenting and overall just spending your valuable time on me. I know how it is, I do the same with many other YouTubers. I just hope that I make you feel as special as you make me feel.
*Emotional rant is now over.*
All in all, I wouldn't still be uploading videos everyday if it wasn't for all of you lovely humans. For that, I thank you all a bagillion (yes, a bagillion) times. You all are wonderful and I want to be there to help you as you are here helping me.
One thing before I end this. This partnership would not even have happened if it wasn't for fellow YouTuber and friend Chris Caine. Please click on his name and check him out. He recommend me to Bent Pixels and is overall responsible for this happiness. He makes great videos and puts a lot of effort into his videos.
Once again, thank you to all of you and I hope you continue to stick with me on this adventure.

Your dear friend,
DAMNjacquie!

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