Regardless, I got on Skype for one reason and one reason only. You see, I've been trying to get in contact this this fellow. Who works for this website. Who I e-mailed awhile back. Who then e-mailed me back agreeing to talk. Who since then has been on and offline at all the opposite times as I.
So finally today we talked.
But what does that mean? It could mean nothing. It could mean something. It could mean fucking everything. It just all depends. Could I be anymore vague than I'm being right now? Probably. I don't know how to explain it, but it feels like I'm doing something right. I feel that often and I'm usually wrong. But what if I'm not this time?
Here's what I can explain...
I got a gig. A job. A paid fucking job with real fucking money for a real fucking website. A website that wants me to be the face on its videos. A website that thinks I've got what it takes to deliver news to a bunch of nerds. Yeah, you're all nerds. Be proud! I got a job for a website that put me in charge of a channel and they trust me to do what I think is best. Me. Jacquie. The same Jacquie that can't even decide if three weeks is too long to go without doing laundry. They trust that I'm going to just not fuck up. How insane does that sound?
It isn't much. I can't quit my shitty job any time soon. I can't go part time just yet. I might end up being really shitty at the entire thing and get fired. But it's something. And it could mean nothing. But it could also mean fucking everything. And I'm stoked. Because I work so damn hard day in and day out. I get no sleep. I still end up broke at the end of every month. And I never know for what. Because nothing ever seems to change. So maybe this will be the change. Maybe all the hard work will pay off sooner rather than later.
But then again maybe it won't. Maybe it will all stay the same yet again. Maybe, just maybe, I'll have to have yet another learning experience to add to my list of fuck ups.
But maybe... just maybe... it could mean fucking everything rather than nothing.
If you want a head start of checking out this place of work I intend to not fuck up at you can check them out at these places. You can also subscribe to any of them to see the first update by yours truly very soon.